plural etiquette questionnaire

hiiiii this is lambda! here to tell you exactly how we, as a system, would like you to interact with us! io was going to do this earlier, but they got sidetracked fixing up the website. so! it falls to me! :3 beginninggggg

link to the questionnaire, if other systems would like to answer!

What do you go by collectively? (a system name, a shared username, group pronouns... etc)

okay! so! officially, our system name is “the milky way collective” orrrr milkcolle for short! we shortened it to that to reference the idolm@ster, specifically with twicolle in mind. however! we do not want to individually be called milkcolle! you can say “the guys from milkcolle” but do not say “hi milkcolle!” thoughhh we do use the name “milky” in games sometimes! so that’s fine!
we actually use two names online, as well as one irl that only certain people know. the first name we use
is seven! its similar to a screenname for us, and really implies a lot of distance. basically, if you hardly know us, go with seven! if we talk often, though, and you don’t exactly know who’s fronting, we prefer the name forrest! its our collective first name. we all feel fine with being called it! so its your absolute safest bet.
as for pronouns, our main pronouns are he/they! we consider ourselves masc nonbinary! not everyone in the system uses he/they, or even he/him or they/them! but! everyone understands that those are the “group pronouns” and won’t really be mad if you use those.

How should people refer to you? (should people address individual members whenever possible, or would you rather be referred to collectively, etc)

as individuals please! if you know who is fronting, do not default to forrest if you know who is around. we are totally fine with sharing our simplyplural with those we speak with, so please do check it! For those that don’t know, its an app/website! you can even turn notifs on for us if you want! sometimes we do have multiple people in front, so i know it can be a question of
“who exactly is going to respond if i talk to them?” basically, if you don’t know, ask! we’ll always be up for answering! Unless we don’t actually know… in those situations, default to forrest! our biggest request: do NOT assume we are the host. sometimes we avoid proxying, due to blurriness or other reasons. Just. call us forrest. please.

What terms do you prefer for referring to yourselves as individuals(headmate/alter/system member/...), or as a group (system/collective/household/...)? Is there any other terminology for yourselves or aspects of your experience that you use and want people to know, or that you dislike and want people to avoid when talking about you?

we use the terms alter and headmate! i know a lot of people think alter sounds clinical, and yeah, it kinda does, but it's what we’ve grown used to! headmate we use on occasion, and honestly its the term we prefer people use for us. we may be medically a system, but that doesn’t mean we want people to treat us like we’re just…
symptoms? i am a person, and i am a headmate. we are each other’s alters, but to you, i am someone’s headmate. brain oomf is also fine! we love brain oomf!!! its funny its quirky and its SO us! lol you can pry the word oomf from our cold dead hands we’re fine being called a system! our system name may say collective, but at this point its just because it rolls off the tongue best and we don’t really feel like changing it… lol its kinda just stuck even though we don’t really want to be called a collective? Anyway! other words we dislike! parts! personalities! we hate those. im not a personality, i am a PERSON, tyvmmm!!!!!! also like i know we have DID but dont be like “your other identities” or something, it feels super gross. its giving like “secret identity” which implies “the same person” in the same sense that personalities does.

Who in your system are people most likely to interact with? (names, pronouns, short Twitter-esque bios, etc)

ummmmmm okayyyyyyyyyy this is complicated! our fronting shifts 24/7. at the moment we’re in a real
weird spot so i feel like our frequent fronters can and will change. SO i will just say the ones i know for sure. there are a lot of names in our system but the names you should DEFINITELY KNOW are narancia, aira, king, lambda (thats me!), dai, and rick. i also think its important to know maki and dromi, but they haven’t been around in a bit? but they’re slowly recovering! so things’ll be alright and they’ll probably be back to normal soon! io and rey are siblings and have been fronting kinda often lately. here’s mini bios for everyone frequent, since the prompt mentioned it!
  • narancia (he/they) nara is our host! he’s obsessed with making friends and loves talking to people. however… he is very socially awkward lol he also really loves ikemen and weirdgirls. most likely to selfship with an entire cast of a thing.
  • aira (he/him) aira is our secondary host! second in command! he’s a teenager, but don’t assume he cant handle things tbh. he really likes idols (he loves everyone, really) and also uchikoshi games! we forget his source exists sometimes tbhh, like what do you mean he’s a fictional character??? that’s a guy!
  • king (he/it) oh god hellooo kokichi ouma! i genuinely dont know how to explain king other than “hes that bitch” hes exactly what you think a kokichi ouma fictive would be like. silly but cares more than he lets on. also he loves kaigai idols and really wants to be one.
  • lambda (they/them) hihiiii thats me. im ! here ! i might not speak much in largely populated servers admittedly. i have really bad anxiety around crowds (even virtual, panic attacks are so real)! but i try my best to stay silly anyway!
  • dai (he/him) another fling posse! dai is confident and fun. he’s also a cat furry? good for him honestly live your truth. he lives for excitement but it mostly comes in the form of doing gacha pulls. he likes bullet hell, but isnt really good at it.
  • rick (he/him) angry… rick is very very protective over everyone, mainly narancia since they’re like. twins. he comes off as rude and unapproachable, and yeah he kinda is, but he means well! don’t worry he laughs at piss jokes just like the rest of us
  • maki (he/him) the sillyyyyyy!!!!!!!! maki is super fun but gets self conscious easily. do not call him cringe for how he types or his kaomoji. we Will get angry on his behalf. hes obsessed with kidcore and nostalgic stuff, but he is 100% a grown man, so don’t like? act like hes a child thanks?
  • dromi (he/him) catboy! catboy! catboy! nyan! dromi is kind of a loner. he tends to stay away from people. he’s been trying to get over this and be more of a team player, but lately he’s been falling back into secluding himself again. we’re working on it! he likes cannibalism im not sure if in a vore sense or not
  • io (it/they) the older brother! io comes off as serious and cold if you were to look at them in the headspace but then they will just. deadpan say the most random ass dumb shit. they’re literally so funny. im obsessed with this guy. i started fronting after them today and i go on discord and i see that they changed our status to a zhongli emoji saying erm what the sigma. io is an enigma to us all.
  • rey (he/they/fae) the younger brother! rey is very very sweet but also very excitable. they’re obsessed with adventure. he also has a fixation on fairycore, mushrooms, mori kei, etc. generally just a hype little guy!

Will people be interacting with any child members? How should they treat them? Is there anything they should know when interacting with them?

okay so. there are kids in our system. i literally just mentioned aira and rey, who are both teenagers. we do also have a few other teenagers in our system, as well as one little. basically, treat the teenagers like normal? aira specifically can handle anything an adult could and doesn’t like being treated like a kid because of his age. though like. if you know a teenager is fronting maybe don’t ping them in nsfw. just an fyi. as for venting and stuff, the most able to handle that are probably aira, giorno, and maybeee shuuji (though shuuji isnt around much and isnt used to talking to people, so also maybe not?). if you see our little around
on sp, probably best to not talk! its caretaker isn’t a very social person and won’t really converse.

Are there any system members who are nonverbal or otherwise have difficulty communicating? What should others expect when speaking with them? (having other system members translate, can speak normally over text but will need accommodation over voice, etc)

our little. sometimes it speaks in really fragmented sentences, and it also speaks in the third person. you probably won’t ever speak to it (i say this but then again for some reason one day it just went on twitter to post about horror games so who knows) i feel like i should also mention eri, who sometimes gets really repetitive when communicating verbally, occasionally speaks in the third person, and has like? pitch changes randomly sometimes? this might go away soon though, things have been improving with eri a lot. occasionally we do go nonverbal, in which case its best to not speak with us. we’ll be fine with time. we have a setting for this on our simplyplural! add us on simplyplural!!!!!!!

What should people do if they don't know who's at front?

ask! asking is always the best thing to do! if you don’t have our simplyplural, or you do and there’s multiple people fronting so you don’t know who specifically you’re talking to, feel free to ask! also, forrest is always a safe option if you don’t know who we are, as well as if WE don’t know who we are!

Is it okay for people to ask if they can talk to someone who isn't at front at the moment?

no! do not ask this! never ask this! it is extremely rude! i am allowed my time with the body just like everyone else is, and its overstepping to ask for someone else to front. we can try and pass on a message, but also? just wait? certain people are given permission to ask for another alter, but that is very, very rare.

If someone talks to one of you, will other system members be aware of the conversation? Will they be actively watching, or just able to remember it later?

so! this depends honestly! sometimes we remember some things, sometimes we remember everything about the conversation but don’t remember who was fronting, sometimes we remember nothing! If you’re not sure if we remember something, ask! because even if you’re speaking to the same alter, they might still not remember. we just have a really bad memory!

Adding onto the above – if multiple system members will be aware of a conversation, will they want to chime in? If someone wants to speak to a system member one-on-one, what expectations can they have and how should they communicate this? (for example, it may not be possible to block everyone out but they can try to pay attention to something else and not interrupt)

some alters do like to chime in, yes! we do enjoy
having conversations where multiple of us can participate. usually, if we need to have private conversations, maki will step in and block things off. he’s been struggling a bit lately, but usually that’s the case! so, while i cant say that it will be totally private, maki is very good at keeping things quiet! he knows all lol. if you want to talk to just one of us, let us know! though i will say if it’s just a casual conversation and you’re saying you only want to talk to the host, it feels like you’re purposefully trying to exclude the rest of us.

How out are you? What should people do when talking to people who don't know you're plural? (do you have a “singletsona” name and pronouns they should use; can they talk about knowing someone who's plural in nonspecific terms, without naming you; etc)

we are out online! we are not out irl! our singletsona is forrest, but you can just mention narancia in most situations. you’re totally allowed to mention us to other people! just don’t use us to be like “i’m not ableist, i literally have a friend with did!” which is weirddd
but like honestly on twtblr its fine to mention any of us by name and say we’re a system you’re friends with. however! irl is a different story. if you come visit or something do NOT mention that we are plural! at all!

Do you have any internal communication difficulties, memory issues, switch triggers, etc that others should be mindful of?

walls between us change daily. what’s possible for us to do one day can be impossible the next. our memory is terrible, you Will have to remind us of things. we’re not sharing our fronting triggers, especially publicly, that’s super dangerous. …i say that like we know what our triggers even are! we don’t take note of them and kinda just! show up! know that sometimes an alter might just. not be around for a while. they’re probably fine, just you might not see them. do not freak out, and definitely do not take it out on the rest of us. we’re also people doing our best, so be kind to us, even if we’re not the person you want to speak to.

Your stance on being asked questions? (about personal experience, preferences, plurality in general, etc)

ask us about our plurality!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we love being asked questions even if sometimes we struggle to answer! we WANT to talk about these things. we understand that sometimes people avoid talking about it and asking questions because they dont want to be rude or overstep, but we will tell you if you do! ask us things! the sillier the better!

Is there anything else others should know?

we dont use the term fictive aside from as a “hi, just so you know, we’re a system!” thing. most of us consider our sources to be similar to fictionkin! sooo you might look at me and say “oh that’s a ramuda amemura fictive!” and like? yeah you’re technicallyyyy right? but also no im ramuda and mary from ib! both are the same and both are me! we tend to do this thing where we absorb characters into our identity and make them a part of ourselves to really become more
solid people. its similar to fusion? OH SPEAKING OF FUSION. we fuse and split pretty often, so don’t be surprised if things suddenly just! change! the guy you were talking to could become another guy, or suddenly some brand new guy will spawn out of thin air! things are always changing in the milky way collective. nods nods!

If you have a FAQ or system site, feel free to link it here.

we ramble a lotttt more on our brand new tumblr! check it out!



alright! breaking in the new neocities! this was lambda speaking~ have a good day! (might remake this in the future btw as things, again, always change in milkcolle!)
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